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cmo post
▼ pre!death scenarios ▼
➼ guizhong takes X to meet her people
when she's about to teach them something
➼ hurt/comfort after a fight
▼ death scenarios ▼
➼ seeing guizhong get corrupted
➼ last conversation
▼ post!death scenarios ▼
➼ guizhong visiting X as a spirit
➼ X meeting guizhong's reincarnation
(not ningguang though)
➼ guizhong's spirit visiting
No longer.
No longer will Rex Lapis exist, simply Zhongli. It's a true relief and process of pride to see Liyue rise beyond the need for a god and embrace the trials of humanity marching forward. Eventually, these old ways of the gods will wane and be no more, but Liyue will live on.
He should be happy, and in some ways he almost is—
He is content with his contract to the Tsaritsa fulfilled, that his people overcame impossible adversity to save their country and each other. He is relieved that he will be able to live among the people as a "human," can spend his days until the end in peace until he can finally join Her.
— and yet, there is much still left to witness, possibilities that he hopes will never come to pass. He trusts the Tsaritsa to use his gnosis as she has claimed rather than be devoured by way of power-corruption.( ... Even if many of her most loyal are already far gone, poisoned by lust for power. )
Sitting in darkness on the edge of his bed in the simple living arrangements he has had for himself over the many recent months, Zhongli holds his head in his hands as his mind torments him with the what ifs, the wild cards, the neverending landscape of the unforseen that could turn his decision into the genesis of a rot for Teyvat as a whole.
( For a brief instant, Childe's betrayed expression crosses his closed eyes, and that only serves to cause a slight growl of frustration. Why does he feel even remotely bothered that Childe may have actually been hurt by his way of doing anything? H The harbinger showed well enough that, no matter his more personal side and wishes and that innocent face, that he will do anything if he feels its for the Tsaritsa. That isn't someone he can trust with such heavy affairs, and deceiving him was indeed the most logical choice.
Yet... it still agitates him in a nagging sort of way. Is this what it feels like to betray a friend? Could Zhongli even call him that, when it was obvious that they were using each other from the beginning? )
Why?
Furthermore, why does this all spiral and wind down to result in the concern that perhaps he had been thinking too narrowly? If something comes from his decision that causes Liyue to suffer for a long time to come... was it still correct to give them a freedom akin to Barbatos's people of Mondstadt?
Even now, after so long, there is so much about humanity Zhongli doesn't comprehend. He's tried, tried and tried some more, but every time he has failed to better understand them. It's as if without Her, he has lost his way, unable to move forward or back. To Zhongli, since Guizhong left his side, the world has remained standing still for him. This attempting to live as a human is a last ditch effort to understand fully the empathy she had for the people. There was understanding there that Zhongli never accomplished despite his care for them in Her absence.
The world should be starting to move, with this new chapter dawning on Liyue for the better; Instead, Zhongli finds it frozen still as he stands alone, the howling silence blanketing him in memories and tragedy as it proclaims all of his darkest kept secrets.
no subject
As part of the reason for that erosion, showing herself to him now might do more harm than good.
But it's impossible for her to stop herself from speaking. She calls his name again, with a squeeze of her arms around his body. She wants to believe that he can draw strength from their reunion, however brief it may be. She wants to reassure him that she will be waiting for him at the End, to tell him that he's done so well, that she is forever grateful for what he's done for their people.
That he must not let the past drag him down and away from the future.
All she can do is hope that he hears her voice. Weakened by the spiritual form she's in, she can't manage anything more than this.]
Zhongli. My dear Zhongli.
(hope you don't mind if I stick to no brackets I'm on mobile)
It's then that he hears her voice (no matter how distant or weak, he would never not recognize her voice), however, and his eyes open wide as his fingers spread to allow him to stare through into the darkness of the room before him. Hearing her makes a rush of guilt overcome him— how painful it must be for her to see him like this.
"Gui...zhong. . ." he breathes out her name barely above a whisper, feeling his throat tighten up in a way he can't remember except from that awful day as he watched the light fade from her eyes, him desperately trying to say words to her that only finally came out once it was too late. Biting back a choked sound that ultimately comes out of his mouth as a bitter chuckle, he speaks to her, as if she were right next to him (right behind him.) "My most beloved Guizhong, forgive me for what I've become before you..."
A man longing for forgiveness from her; for wanting to be with her and move on from this lonely existence rather than live on as she wishes him to, from failing to protect her, for failing task after task that she had left to him, even when he felt he was finally starting to get it right .
Her presence is a double-edged sword. He does feel comforted that she has not left him even in death, but the despair at knowing she is so close now and yet still out of his reach is devestating. There is shame over ideas from the dark corners of his mind; that he had more than once longed to let the youngest Harbinger have his fulfillment of victory by letting him be the one to rip his gnosis from his chest. Would he have died then, having it forcefully taken from him in such a violent manner? Would he have been able to reunite with his most precious friend— to hear her laugh, to see her smile, to feel the softness of her hair about his fingertips once more? His duty bound restraint condemns him for letting such nihilistic and defeatist thoughts cross his mind when their people were still not yet guaranteed safety.
"All these years and yet my wisdom still pales in comparison to yours— tell me, have I done right by our people ?"
Or, does all Zhongli have are excuses that masquerade as concern and wellbeing born from his own selfishness? ( —of being tired of living so long alone and out of her reach, tired of seeing so many friends come and go, often with a painful end that always manages to draw blood from his stoned heart making it erode away, all while hollowing from the inside out. )
i don't mind at all!
[She hums soothingly to him, just as she had so long ago when they sat together in fields of glaze lilies. Back then, he had been so innocent. A warrior god, yes, and all too knowledgeable of all the horrors of battle, but so innocent in terms of how deep and complicated emotions can run. Now, over the course of thousands of years, he's run the full gambit of them— and as much as it pains her to see him suffering from it, as much as it's eroding away at him, Guizhong knows that this is part and parcel of what he's been searching for all this time. Experiencing all these things is precisely what needed to happen in order for him to understand and feel empathy for their people.
She shifts, and then she's right in front of him, watercolor blue eyes warm despite her ghostly form. Now that he's aware of her, she feels a little bit of strength coming to her, his Geo energy resonating with the traces of her spirit enough that she can answer him properly. If only she could do more than comfort him with words and barely-there touches. But if she's only allowed a brief return to this world, she wants to leave knowing that she's lightened his heart, even it's just a little. So Guizhong gently cups his face in her hands, sets her forehead to his.]
Liyue's current prosperity and strength is the answer to your uncertainties of our people's wellbeing. And as for forgiving you...there is nothing that I need to forgive, beloved. The things you've done and the choices you've made for our people...the very fact that you are questioning yourself after putting our people before your wants and needs for thousands of years. That is the mark of neither a god nor a ruler, but a good person.
[She smooths her thumbs over his skin and brushes back his bangs, hoping to ease the bitter tension in his expression as she speaks.]
All people are messy and full of contradictions...and they have moments where they fall outside of the laws and morals they've aligned with. But it is a good person who perseveres despite all of that, and strives to live with honor and kindness despite the mistakes he may make and the hesitation he feels.
Beloved...you are a good person. You've done so much for so long. Liyue and I could not ask for more from you.
<3
...Even if along with that comes the indescribable despair and loneliness of her last moments in his life. Zhongli wants to ask if she is afraid, if she is lonely, but he knows if anything of those things were confirmed to be true he wouldn't be able to keep himself living. It's hard enough now, so very hard to keep the conviction when he knows she's there just on the other side for him to be with again. It's so much easier to give in, to want to sink into darkness for eternity than open his eyes to a new day.
"You say the most beautiful things," he sighs, convinced that if it was any other person speaking the same words they would do nothing for him. There's a short pause before he speaks again. "I truly believe in our people to continue forward. Their power and resolution is greater than I could have hoped for." Seeing them send Osial back to the depths was heartening, but the matter of the Fatui and Tsaritsa's goals still loom, should become corrupted. Perhaps, more problematic than that, however, is the Abyss lurking in the shadows, where he had hardly heard of them for some time now. The Traveler, he knows their face, remembers their sibling all too well, and... what will that ultimately mean for Teyvat as they continue to seek out the remaining Seven?
"There are things, however, from 500 years ago, restless and opportunistic that even I cannot forsee the nature of. I wish to not bear witness to any more of my failures."
Losing Guizhong was enough, losing their people due to his overconfidence and desperation to let his life come to an end would be desolating to every piece of his existence.
"Have you been truly watching this entire time?"
had a con over the weekend but now i'm back for tagging~
[She is dust, after all. Dust, and dead. One speck, one hundred specks, even one thousand specks of dust amounts to nothing of substance, her sense of self flung out too far and wide to maintain without strong incentive or help. And to linger too long in the world of the living is dangerous in its own right, when thousands of malevolent spirits left over from the Archon Wars still haunt Liyue's peaks and vales. If she were seized by one of them— Archons forbid, if she were to become one! Her love for her people would turn to hatred, her consideration to deadly, deranged obsession. Nothing, save her beloved Zhongli or the silently dutiful Xiao, would be capable of stopping her, and she would sooner disappear for good than put them through that agony.
No, better to drift, as dust ought to. Better to be here but never be present, to exist but never live. Until such time that Zhongli can join her in the beyond, this is how things should be, a delicate balance maintained. And moments like this, when their worlds are allowed to twine closer than usual— they are to remain the rare, bittersweet exception, and she can only do her best to offer him what wisdom and affection she can, in the limited time she has.]
If our people wanted a seer, they would've made someone else their liege lord. Don't dwell on the unknown future, beloved. Enjoy what you have now, so that you'll fight all the harder to save it when the beast of the past rears its head. [She presses a finger to his lips to silence him, anticipating that he would compare the now to back then, when he couldn't save her. Though she was never a seer herself, the words seem a prophecy now as she says them, soft and low:] You will not fail. In your darkest hour, you will find guidance; in your most difficult struggle, clarity; and in your victory, redemption. With his people and allies at his side, the Lord of Geo will conquer the lands once again, for the sake of all of Teyvat.
[And then she tilts her head ever so slightly, gentle in her teasing.]
And I would rather hear about how you've spent your present days in Liyue, besides. Tell me, how was the Lantern Rite this year?